


I Heard a Scream in the Woods Somewhere

by katherine1753



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Blood, Blow Jobs, Blushing, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Fire, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Panic, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Soft Kylux, Stitches, Touch-Starved, bear and driftwood, bear!kylo, driftwood!hux, in which I actually take this completely seriously, pacific northwest fairytale au, scary moments, soft, soft touches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-11-02 17:29:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10949322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katherine1753/pseuds/katherine1753
Summary: "what if kylo is a bEAR and Hux is A PIECE OF DRIFTWOod and they’ve been CURSED BY A FAIRY TO LIVE AS HUMANs IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST in tHE YEAr 1803 AND"  -  theearlgreyalphaA rage fueled bear, a piece of driftwood, and a fairy looking out for the good of the forest. She curses the bear to live fifty days as a human to learn control and care for another, or to be stuck as a human forever.Tagged for future chapters, more tags to be added.





	1. I Saw New Eyes Were Watching Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PolypusRegina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolypusRegina/gifts).



> for Liz <3  
> I hope you like it!
> 
> title from Hozier's In The Woods Somewhere

It was a pretty normal life for a bear, all things considered. At least, Kylo thought so. He ate. He slept. He scratched his back on trees and soaked in cold streams. But mostly, he hunted. Whether it be fish swimming upstream from the lake near his den, small burrows of rabbits he'd come across in meadows, or even deer he'd stalk through the woods. He hunted. And he was _good_ at it.

He was so good, that he didn't always do it for food. He guessed maybe it was for fun, but it was mostly just on impulse. Especially when things were going wrong. If a tree fell on his den, he took it out on the possums nearby. If he sensed another bear in his territory, he would go on a rampage barreling through the woods, growling and raving and marking his scent, scratching the trees in his effort to claim them; these were _his_ woods.

But it wasn't just territorial. No, it had become a habit, an angry way to cope with any and everything that he found displeasing. He'd knock down trees if they were in his way. He'd hunt the beavers he upset by that. If it was too cold out, he just got grumpier and slashed angrily at the salmon in the rivers. He had plenty for hibernation, but he was just so _angry._

Most days found him snarling on his way through the woods; it was a wonder there were any animals around with all the noise he'd make. He'd managed to chase off any humans, hunters or settlers, that wandered into the wrong woods at the wrong time. But the small helpless creatures weren't always aware of the danger before it was too late.

He made his usual trek down to the lake for some water, crunching sticks beneath his huge paws and kicking particular stones out of the way. A fox's tail disappeared into the trees across the water. He'd get it later, he was sure. He stuck his face into the cool stream, taking delight in the scared way the minnows would flee from his sharp teeth. He snapped at a few of them, just because he could.

When he finished his drink, he stretched, sinking his claws into the crumbly sand and pebbles lining the shore. Maybe he'd go hunt that fox now. They put up quite a good fight usually, and he was looking for something like that after the squirrels that morning had been particularly uneventful. He glanced up, and the lake was blue.

Not that it wasn't usually blue, no, but it an unearthly blue. _Glowing_ in the center. His eyes narrowed. That was not normal. He growled in preparation for a fight as the glow grew nearer. As it approached the water's edge, the water began to ripple more and more, more than he'd ever seen before. For a moment, just a brief one, he was almost... _afraid._ Which, frankly, he'd never been before and that made him angry just on principle.

Out of the water came a glistening figure. A blonde woman with wings, draped in the lightest blue and silver he'd ever seen. A fairy. He was sure of it. He'd never seen one before, but he'd heard other creatures mention them. With a loud snarl, he leapt at the fairy, claws out and ready to strike.

But Kylo passed straight through the glowing being, crashing painfully in the shallow rocky lake. He rolled over with a roar, furious and ready to jump again, to maul, to bite; all he felt was rage.

“Kylo Ren,” the fairy spoke, voice ringing clearly and sternly over the crash of the waterfall and rippling water.

Kylo froze. He'd never heard anyone speak his name. And there was something about her voice that held him captive.

“Remain still, Ren. You have been disrupting this forest for far too long. You've become harsh. Unforgiving. Relentless. You cannot continue this path,” she said.

Kylo grumbled, who was she to say these things?

“Hush, Ren,” she demanded, and Kylo found that his voice was gone. “Before you destroy this forest, I must intervene. I am putting a curse on you: for the next fifty days, you will live life as a human. You will walk on two legs, speak, hunt, and learn to control yourself. If you manage that in your fifty days, I will return you to your natural state and you can continue your life as a bear. However, if you fail, you will be cursed to remain human for the remainder of your life.”

Kylo was still immobile, but inside he was panicking. Fifty days?! How was he supposed to survive even _one_ as a human, let alone fifty? Humans were weak. Pathetic. He'd surely die.

He felt a peculiar sensation in his claws and looked down to see that they were gone. He yelped as he jumped back, leaning on his back two legs as he stared at his paws, no, _hands_ in horror. The pale human skin appearing on his fingers continued up his arms, most of his hair disappearing and small moles beginning to dot his bare skin. It felt odd to breathe as he felt his teeth shrink and his snout disappear, and a soft fluff brushed over ears that were now on the sides of his head. He felt the magic work its way through his torso and down his legs until he knew that all of his bear qualities were gone.

He gasped as he looked down again, seeing his reflection in the lake. He was still large, tall. Broad-chested with wide shoulders and strong looking arms. He had a long nose instead of a snout, and a soft looking mouth with teeth much less sharp than he was used to. The softness he had felt was a mane of nearly black hair, matching his fur coat that he missed so much already.

“For your comfort,” the fairy spoke again, seemingly satisfied with his transformation. She was holding out a pile of cloth. He had encountered enough humans to know that these were clothes, and somehow, instinctively, he seemed to know how they all worked. “I've made sure that you know enough things about mankind in order to function,” she explained. “There is an abandoned cabin about three miles due north of here. That is where you shall live for your fifty days.”

Kylo pulled on a pair of brownish pants, feeling embarrassment for the first time as he stumbled a bit. The suspenders fit perfectly over his shoulders. The fairy frowned for a moment, looking him over, until she pulled a fur out of thin air, draping it over his shoulders. It felt like his old fur, and it surprised him how much more comfortable he felt just being able to hold it around his shoulders.

“There,” she said, satisfied. “And one more thing!”

“What?” Kylo was taken aback momentarily by the deep tone of his voice.

“You will not learn unless you have something to care for. Something helpless.”

“...a rabbit?” Kylo asked begrudgingly.

“No. Something that you could hurt, but that would cause more impact to you if you did. Something you could trust. And that could trust you. Another human. You must learn to care for one of your own.”

The fairy reached down to the shore of the lake, picking up a brittle looking piece of driftwood. Just a stick really, something Kylo could have snapped easily.

“This should do,” the fairy decided. She placed the stick on top of a large rock, waved her hand over it until it began to glow, and stepped back. She turned to face Kylo again. He had never felt more confused or at a loss in his life. “Fifty days. I'll be watching, Kylo Ren. And at the end of your time, I will return to you. You must learn.”

He watched her walk back into the lake, wanting to ask a million questions and not knowing how to even begin to phrase a single one. What was he going to do? And how was he supposed to take care of a fragile stick?

When he turned around, he nearly jumped out of his newly-smooth skin. Instead of the driftwood there was a man. A tall, lanky man with hair brighter than autumn leaves, in a long white shirt he was clutching to himself. He looked as terrified as Kylo felt.

Fifty days. He wasn't sure if they'd make it.

 _What caused the wounds?  
_ _How large the teeth?  
_ _I saw new eyes were watching me_

 


	2. Give Me One Good Reason Why I Should Not Be Thinking Of Leaving You Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Rag'N'Bone Man's Guilty

**Day 1**

Kylo stared at the man- Man? Stick? Driftwood? Probably best to go with man. He stared at the man and felt himself growing angrier and angrier. He'd have to deal with all of his punishment with this tall gangly thing? And take care of it? He'd never taken care of anything but himself in his entire life. And the nervously afraid expression on the stick-man's face was fading into more of a mix of confusion and fear. It made him angry.

“Well?” Kylo demanded loudly, still not used to the deep timbre of his voice.

The man startled, flinching backwards and clutching harder at his draped shirt. Kylo had never worn clothes before, yet he could tell that the shirt was much too big for him. The man shivered lightly. Kylo was suddenly glad for the fur the fairy had given him. It was much too cold in these woods without a proper fur skin. He hated being human.

“Who...who are you?” the red-haired man asked. The red was bright. Cut the almost-sunset comparison, it was an annoying shade. Everything about this man was beginning to make him angry. From the shade of his hair to his intelligent looking eyes to the softness of his voice.

“Kylo Ren.” He answered shortly. He wasn't going to explain anything to this stick-man. Surely the fairy put in enough knowledge for him to know that they were cursed. Or, to be fair, that _Kylo_ was cursed. And he was an innocent bystander. That also made Kylo angry. Perhaps the man would hate him and leave. Or resent him during the entire fifty days. Kylo wasn't sure if he'd be able to not hurt this twig of a man.

“Oh,” the man mumbled. He had a funny tone to his voice. Kylo hated it too. “And...who am I?”

Kylo froze. Great. This was _exactly_ what he needed. How was he supposed to know who this stick-man was? The fairy had been entirely unhelpful. All Kylo wanted to do was turn back into a bear and rage through the woods, destroying everything in his path. It was never as satisfying as it sounded or felt when he first started, but the urges were always so strong. Now especially more than ever.

“You don't know who you are?” he asked flatly.

“No I...I forgot, I must have amnesia or something, did you find me here? Did you rescue me? Or are you the one who brought me here in the first place? Are you trying to kill me?”

The questions came fast and Kylo could hardly keep up with the flurry of changing emotions crossing the man's face. “Uh...”

“Well?” The man mimicked.

Well, Kylo would go with it. It'd be easier than trying to explain a fairy in the woods cursing him out of the bear-state he was missing more and more with every passing second. Perhaps because this man was a piece of driftwood, he didn't have prior thoughts.

“I found you,” Kylo said. Even though the thought of killing this man had already crossed his mind twice. He might as well attempt to go along with the curse. “Here. I guess I'm rescuing you. I have a cabin. We can go there until you figure yourself out.”

The man seemed to consider Kylo's offer but remained mostly silent. His grip on his shirt loosened a bit as he calmed down.

“Hux,” he finally blurted.  
  
“What?”

“Hux. That's my name. That's all I can remember. I think maybe I was a fisherman. Or on a boat. But that's very foggy still. The only thing I see clearly is water.”

Of course a piece of driftwood would only remember water. Kylo rolled his eyes. This was getting worse by the second. He would give that fairy a piece of his mind whenever she came back. And it would _not_ be a pleasant experience.

“Alright. Hux. Let's go.” Kylo turned and headed off into the woods the way the fairy had indicated, not bothering to look behind him to see if the man- no, _Hux_ was following.

After a few minutes, Kylo slowed his strides to a stomping trudge. He _wasn't_ doing it for Hux, who he could hear stumbling and panting behind him, trying to keep up. He _wasn't._ He was just tired too. Or at least that's what he told himself. He hated Hux and he hated his situation and he hated that he had to trek through the woods on two legs. But for some reason he found himself being a little less abrasive. And that made him even angrier. Yet he managed to keep it inside.

“You're fast,” Hux breathed uselessly. “Why must you walk so fast?”

For a moment Kylo thought he had been about to thank him for slowing down. But no, he just had to grate on his nerves even more. “Why must _you_  be so slow?” he grumbled. He found that he liked grumbling. That made him feel a little better. Grumbling reminded him of being a bear. These fifty days couldn't go by soon enough.

Kylo sidestepped a thick root hidden by some old leaves, taking pleasure in the way Hux tripped over them. He only turned around to look at the sound of Hux's indignant shout of surprise, seeing the man fall face-down into the crumbled leaves. A cruel laugh barked out of him before he could stop it and he didn't mind the way Hux's face turned an angry red.

He left Hux to get up on his own and continued his way through the woods, not slowing down whenever Hux would call out for him to wait. He always heard him somewhere on the trail behind him anyway. If something were to happen to Hux, well, he wouldn't really care all that much.

 

**Day 4**

The cabin had been alright. Kylo was completely unused to living in anything besides a cave or a hollowed tree, but he supposed as far as cabins went it was a decent one. It had a floor and a roof, which was what he assumed really made the difference between cabins and sleeping outside. Across from a scattering of old furniture there was a large fireplace. He knew that was for warmth and cooking, both of which would be new things for him too.

There had been some food stored in the cabinets, and Kylo had been glad for that because he was absolutely famished by the time they found the cabin. Hux had picked at his rations before curling up tightly on the end of a very worn looking couch and falling asleep.

Kylo had taken the bed for himself, pleased he wouldn't have to fight Hux for it. He would have won anyway. The quilt had offered him little comfort in the night, yet he clung to it as if it were his only possession.

Hux seemed to find fault in everything Kylo did, even though he said he couldn't remember much of anything. After four days of near-constant nagging, Kylo had stormed out of the cabin, nearly throwing the door off of its hinges as he slammed it behind him. He pretended not to notice the way Hux had jumped at the loud sound.

He stormed through the woods in a sad imitation of his prior glory. A tree branch he tried to throw in his anger popped back and snapped him in the arm. He growled out an angry sound, feeling more like his normal bear-self but all the while hurt and angry and upset at how fragile his human-self was. He wouldn't make it the fifty days. Not if he had to deal with Hux.

He found himself on the edge of the lake where it all had began and he kicked at the water in his anger. He threw a rock into the rippling water, and then another, and another, none of the large splashes doing anything to make him feel better.

This was the worst thing to ever happen to him, he was sure of it. Even if he got the short satisfaction of killing Hux, he'd have to live with being stuck as a human forever. And that'd be even worse than having to live with Hux for forty-six more days.

Four more rocks joined their previously-sunken friends in the lake. Furious, Kylo tried to throw the boulder Hux had sat upon into the water. But he couldn't lift it. After straining and pulling, he sank to his knees on the pebbly shore. He took a steadying breath, trying to calm himself.

He could feel the rage slowly leaving him as he breathed. He focused on the soft sounds of the ripples, the feel of the rocks beneath him, the chirping birds in the trees and the smells of the fresh, damp earth.

When he stood up again, he was calm.

A few hours later, he arrived back at the cabin with a string of fish he had caught. It was a strange revelation to learn that he could catch more fish as a calm human than as a raging bear. He was almost excited. He could prove he could survive as a human! He could take care of himself and Hux too! He could make it through this curse!

He opened the door to find Hux glaring at him. And all of the good feelings vanished. They were instantly replaced with hurt and anger. His face fell as he set the fish down and retreated to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him not quite as hard as he had that morning.

He paced the creaky wooden floor, hands wrenching at his soft hair in agitation. He wanted to punch him, to grab him and throw him around, _anything_. But he couldn't, he _couldn't_. Hux just made him so _angry._ He had been so sure of surviving the curse just moments before and Hux was able to destroy that with a single look.

He kicked at his wall, groaning in frustration at the pain and lack of visual damage to the wall. He tried to take more steadying breaths as he sat heavily upon his bed. Kylo pulled the sad little quilt over himself as he felt a strange wetness in his eyes. _Crying_. He'd never done that before. It was all Hux's fault. But as long as he didn't actually hurt Hux, he could survive the duration of the curse. That wouldn't stop him from thinking about it though.

 

 _A million ways to hurt you running round and round my head_  
_I won't feel guilty for that_  
_I won't feel guilty for that_

 


	3. I Have Never Known Peace Like The Damp Grass That Yields To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Hozier's In A Week  
> Special thanks to Liz for the encouragement for this chapter <3

**Day 20**

Things still hadn’t improved all that much. Kylo was dreading every single day, both because of his human-ness and because he’d have to deal with Hux. That’s not saying he wasn’t getting used to it, no. Either of those things. It had been almost three weeks after all. At this point Kylo was just glad that the curse was almost halfway over and that he’d soon be a bear again.

He missed it. He missed his paws and his claws. His grumbling and growling was not nearly as impressive or scary as a human. And when he hurt things, smashing trees or punching walls, it hurt him back. He hated it.

He had noticed a more resigned anger in himself though. He was getting tired. Tired of being so angry all the time, tired of no progress, tired of everything. There wasn’t as much raging would do for him now. He let it simmer inside rather than lashing out for the most part.

And then there was Hux: the primary source for his frustration. He didn’t understand how one single thing could be so irritating. And, no matter what Kylo did or how hard he tried, Hux seemed just as bothered by him consistently. The man was always glaring, always complaining.

He’d even accused Kylo of kidnapping him once. Kylo had yelled at him to just leave then, and to go back to wherever he came from. Hux had shut up and turned a fantastic shade of red, and Kylo had felt gloriously triumphant until he saw Hux sit heavily upon their sad little couch, curling in on himself.

Kylo wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard quiet sobs that night.

That had been four days ago. They hadn’t spoken since. And Kylo felt guilt for the first time in his life. Usually, the cruelty fueled him. Usually, he felt the lashing out was much deserved. But now, he’d begun to realize that he had crossed a line. And that there  _were_ lines that could be crossed.

He refused to apologize after all Hux had done, but he began to miss the softer bickering (which was their main form of communication), and even the full-on arguing. The silence was driving him crazy. And Hux was reminding him more and more of the piece of driftwood that he actually was.

Kylo wanted to scream at him, to call him names, to accuse him of being the silent, fragile, broken stick. But it made him a little upset to think about it. Hux just frustrated him.

And he couldn’t do anything, no matter how much he wanted to. 

He hoped Hux would break their silence first, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he would last. Seeing Hux’s upset expressions before the man turned away was much worse than the constant glaring he had begun to get used to. Though it had hurt him so much that first week, he preferred it to their current state.

\----

**Day 26**

They’d been spending most of their days hunting, cooking, or fixing things up around the cabin. Well, Kylo did the hunting. He was still decent at it once he got the knack of using tools and his hands. Having thumbs was a pretty useful addition. He might miss those later.

Hux still hadn’t spoken to him. But Kylo would occasionally mumble things at him, like when he was leaving to hunt, what he brought back, if he was heading to sleep. He hated it, but it felt like a bit of an improvement when Hux would nod back.

Kylo spent a lot of time by the lake trying to calm himself and slowing his breathing. It helped him soothe his raging emotions and not lash out at Hux. They were a little over halfway now and Kylo was beginning to think they’d make it. The small bit of hope was a dangerous thing, and he really didn’t want to destroy it.

He was having difficulties hunting today; for some reason it seemed like a lot of animals were missing. It was unusual, even when he went barreling through the woods on his rampages.

The birds were oddly quiet, just a nervous twitter here or there. No possums or porcupines ambling along, no squirrels zipping by. Kylo walked slowly through his old paths, looking for a reason why.

He saw the tail of that fox he’d noticed a few weeks ago disappear behind a boulder. The woods were strangely silent. He could hear every twig snap beneath his feet, every leaf that rustled in the wind or brushed against his shoulders.

He frowned. Something was off. There was usually life all around, bustling in the woods, even when he was destroying it. There was a frightened nervous energy this time. It was making him uneasy. 

And that’s when he heard the terrible, awful scream. A human scream. Hux. 

His mind and his heart raced as he ran back towards their cabin, all thoughts filled with worry and fear. He’d never felt such emotions, fearing  _for_ someone.

“Hux!” he called as he neared the cabin. “Hux, where are you?!”

He stumbled into the clearing, trying to come to a stop as he caught his breath. “Hux?”

“Kylo?” he heard him call from the other side of the cabin. He sounded scared. Kylo had never heard him sound so scared. It made his heartbeat skip with a nervous stutter.

He rounded the corner and froze as he took in the sight. Hux was cowered up against their wall in front of a huge snarling bear. He looked terrified.

The bear let out a roar, taking another lumbering step towards Hux, who flinched, pressing as much of himself against the stone wall as he could.

Kylo wondered if that was how he had looked, if that was how scared everything had been of him. All claws and teeth and loud, awful growling. He’d never payed attention, thriving off of the fear he instilled in other creatures. But now, he was even a little afraid.

But Hux, Hux was trembling. Kylo could see it from his distance. And the near was just getting angrier at his jerky, terrified movements. Hux looked too small, too pale, too scared.

The instant the bear lurched forward again, the way Hux’s eyes widened in fear and a few tears slipped out, Kylo knew he had to do something.

Without even thinking, he ran between Hux and the bear, spreading his shoulders and looking as big as he possibly could. It startled the bear into another fierce growl. It reared up on its hind legs, swiping a huge paw at Kylo. He threw his arms up to block Hux from the blow. The left paw came down across his face, colliding heavily with his shoulder. Kylo let out a pained howl, sounding more animal than human, and he felt Hux flinch against him.

The bear growled back, advancing on Kylo again. Kylo lunged at it, growling back as he tried to make himself bigger, stretching his fur pelt across his outstretched arms.

It stopped, roaring out a threat. It wanted Hux. But Kylo wouldn’t allow that. He lunged forward again, yelling louder.

“Careful,” Hux’s voice shook behind him.

Kylo growled threateningly, launching himself once more towards the bear, and after a tense moment of staring between them, the bear lumbered off into the woods with a final roar.

The bear knew it was Kylo’s territory, human or bear. He’d marked all the trees in these woods and Kylo knew that the bear had to know he was invading enemy territory. No wonder all of the animals were so tense and quiet.

Only once the bear was far enough away, Kylo let himself relax and drop his arms, turning to Hux.

The man was still shaking, and his eyes looked frightened, but he caught a glimpse of relief in his expression before it dropped into horrified concern.

“Are you alright?” Kylo asked.

“You’re bleeding,” Hux gasped. It was only then that Kylo registered the warmth dripping down his face. He hadn’t noticed the pain yet.

“I’ve had worse,” Kylo mumbled. Though it was entirely possible that he hadn’t. He scrubbed a hand across his face and it came away red. Yeah, he probably hadn’t had worse. “You’re trembling,” he said, placing a hand on Hux’s shoulder. This was the most civil they had been. The most words they had spoken without accusations or anger. “And you’re freezing.”

Hux frowned, but it wasn’t as malicious as normal. “I’ve been freezing, you imbecile.”

Kylo undraped the fur from his shoulders and looped it around Hux. It covered much more of him than it did Kylo. Hux’s eyes went wide as he watched Kylo adjust it on him.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, eyes darting away as his cheeks turned pink.

Kylo felt his own cheeks heating up in response. He’d never felt that before. He nodded in reply, not trusting his voice at the moment when it felt like his heart was in his throat.

“Let me help you,” Hux blurted, breaking the spell between them. “We have some fresh cloths to clean you up, and I found a needle and some thread for mending. I- I think I could stitch you up.”

Kylo nodded again, following Hux into the cabin.

Hux scooped up a bucket of water and grabbed a small stack of neatly folded cloth squares before he sat Kylo down on the couch, dipping the cloth in the water. Slowly and carefully, like he was reaching toward a wounded animal, Hux began to wipe the blood from Kylo’s face.

Kylo only flinched once, and it made Hux jump, so he tried very hard to brace himself for the pain of the pressure on his face.

Instead, he focused on Hux’s face. The man almost looked… gentle. His hands had stopped shaking now that he was tending to Kylo’s face. He wouldn’t meet Kylo’s eyes, but his look of concern was back.

“You have freckles,” Kylo said quietly before he could think. He hadn’t had them before, or maybe he just hadn’t noticed before. But he noticed them now, and the way Hux’s pale skin was flushing a lovely pink shade beneath them. His light freckles, pink skin, and orange hair reminded Kylo of a sunset.

“I…” Hux frowned slightly. “They came out in the sun.” He finished wiping Kylo’s face and reached for the needle and thread, sterilizing the needle in the candle on the little table by the couch.

“This’ll hurt,” Hux warned as he bit his lip in concentration. That was enough to distract Kylo from the first prick of the needle.

When Hux was done, Kylo drew in a shaky breath. It _hurt_. But for the first time, he wasn’t angry about it.

\----

**Day 30**

It was odd, the new thing Kylo found between himself and Hux. A tentative friendship of sorts. They weren’t fighting or glaring, but had quiet conversations and long comfortable silences. Hux had tried to give Kylo’s fur back that night, but Kylo had insisted that he keep it. Both of them had turned pink, and Kylo didn’t think he’d ever get used to that feeling.

His face was healing decently, but he knew he'd have a scar. Sometimes Kylo wondered if the scar would be there when he turned back into a bear. But he didn't really mind, as long as Hux kept helping him take care of it every day and every night, insisting that he do it.

Getting along with Hux was something Kylo didn't know how to compute. It was strange. He had never had companionship before, and he kept getting nervous when Hux would do something nice, expecting it to be a trap or a lie. But it never was. No, now that they had survived together, they were being _nice_. And Kylo found himself being awkward about his niceness, because he wasn't sure the protocol. He'd never been _nice_ before. 

It all seemed to be ok, though, if Hux's small soft smiles and pink cheeks were any judge. He couldn't look away when he managed to make Hux smile. Something about it was intoxicating and he always wanted more.

One night, Kylo had laughed at something Hux had told him. Actually laughed. It was such an odd but wonderful feeling. And when Hux had laughed in return, that feeling was even more wonderful. It was starting to worry Kylo a little bit. He only had twenty more days with Hux, and so he wanted to make him laugh and smile as much as possible in those days. Then he'd have something to remember him by when he turned back into a bear.

Oftentimes he wondered what would happen to Hux when the whole ordeal was over. Would he remain human? Would he become a bear too? Or would he have to go back to being a piece of driftwood? Kylo didn't think it fair to give Hux such life for a short while and then take it all away. But, he thought uncomfortably, Hux wasn't really much of anything to begin with. Weeks ago he wouldn't have cared what happened to Hux. But now, he worried. He didn't know what would be better. Parts of him wished that Hux could join him as a bear. He didn't think the fairy would allow that though, this was a punishment after all.

He wanted to tell him. God, how he wanted to tell him. But the longer the time went on, the more he hesitated in bringing up the curse. Especially when things were suddenly going so well for them. He didn't want to make Hux upset. And after the terrifying moment with the bear, he didn't want Hux to know the monster he truly was. It was strange, thinking of himself in such ways. He used to revel in it, take pleasure in the terror he caused. But now he was ashamed.

“Kylo? Are you alright?” Hux murmured softly from his place next to Kylo on the couch, breaking him out of his deep thoughts.

“I'm fine.”

“You look upset,” Hux tilted his head in concern.

“It's nothing. Just lost in thought.”

Hux hummed in acknowledgment and scooted a little bit closer on the couch. He tucked Kylo's fur around him more snugly as they both turned back towards the fireplace, flames crackling softly with their dying embers.

“I guess I should get to sleep...” Kylo stood up from the couch, not really wanting to go, but not sure how much longer he could stay before Hux became uncomfortable. It was getting late, and he didn't want to make him upset.

“Oh.” If Kylo wasn't mistaken, he'd say Hux sounded a little bit disappointed. “Alright.”

Kylo picked up Hux's tattered blanket from the end of the couch, spreading it open to tuck it around him. It was a strange little nightly ritual they had started a few days ago, and neither of them had mentioned it, afraid to break whatever it was that was happening between them.

Hux gripped the edges of the little quilt and curled up tightly beneath it. He shivered slightly, but wouldn't meet Kylo's eyes.

“It's...it's kind of cold tonight,” Kylo mumbled, hesitating in his steps away from the couch.

Hux made a small noise in agreement. He sounded so small and sad that Kylo couldn't help but blurt out his next words without thinking first.

“Do you- do you maybe want to share? With me? It'd...it'd be warmer...” he trailed off, embarrassed, and considered fleeing to his bedroom as quickly as possible. Surely he'd ruined everything. Surely he'd broken this magical little peace they'd created.

“Really?” Hux asked, sitting up slightly. He looked a bit hopeful, and like he was afraid to hope.

“If you want,” Kylo's voice was shaking. He didn't think he'd be so nervous, and yet he was.

Hux hesitated for only a moment, and then nodded as he rose from the couch, still gripping the fur and the blanket. “Thank you.” It was said so quietly that Kylo almost missed it.

The bed Kylo had claimed wasn't huge, but it would be big enough for two people. Kylo pulled back the quilt and motioned for Hux to get in before climbing in behind him. Neither of them moved, they barely dared to breathe. Kylo was sure Hux could hear his heart pounding.

After a few stiff and silent minutes, Hux was the first to move. He turned ever so slightly towards Kylo, scooting just the tiniest bit closer.

“Are you still cold?” Kylo whispered, turning to face Hux.

Hux looked at him nervously, but mumbled an affirmative.

“Come here,” Kylo wrapped an arm around Hux, feeling how cool he was to the touch, and pulled him flush against his chest. Kylo knew Hux had to be able to feel his heart pounding, even if he hadn't heard it earlier. There was no way of hiding it now. But he suddenly didn't care.

“Is that better?”

He felt Hux nod against his collarbone, giving one last little shiver as he rested his hand near his face on Kylo's chest.

“Goodnight, Hux,” he whispered, daring to let himself just barely tuck his nose down to brush against the top of Hux's fiery hair.

“Goodnight,” Hux whispered back even more quietly, and Kylo could feel the brush of his lips against his skin. He wasn't sure how much sleep he'd be able to get that night with Hux so close, but he realized it was worth it if Hux was ok. These feelings were new to him, and he was confused by them, but he didn't want them to change.

 

 

_I have never known sleep like this slumber that creeps to me_   
_I have never known colors like this morning reveals to me_

 


	4. Can I Be Close To You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Bloom by The Paper Kites

**Day 45**

For the past fifteen nights, Kylo had slept peacefully. For the past fifteen days, he had woken up feeling well rested. Less anxious or angry. Calm. For the past fifteen mornings, Kylo had been waking up with Hux in his arms.

It was a little odd, at first. The first morning together saw them both turning shades of red and reluctantly, awkwardly shuffling away from each other. Hux kept his eyes down as he neatly tucked the quilt back onto the bed, refusing to make eye contact with Kylo as Kylo pulled the rest of his layers of clothes on.

Hux had avoided Kylo for most of the day, but Kylo couldn't blame him. He was hiding from Hux as well. He _liked_ having Hux in his arms. He _liked_ waking up with him. And he didn't know how to handle it. Kylo had already been trying to figure out how to cope with his racing heartbeat around him, how to deal with the fluttery feeling in his chest and the pinkness on his own cheeks when he saw Hux blush. He tried to cover up his stammering words, tried to tone down his staring.

He wasn't sure if he was succeeding.

And now that he had had Hux in his arms, had _held_ him, he didn't want to ever go back.

The next night, the pair had stayed on the couch as late as possible, neither of them saying much but neither of them wanting to leave the other. Finally when Kylo could barely keep his eyes open any longer, he stood up to retreat to his bedroom and after a slight moment of hesitation in which he panicked about every possible way that it could go wrong, he offered his hand to Hux.

Hux had taken it shyly and followed him into the creaky bed.

And thus had begun their new nightly routine. Each night it got a little easier, each night it got a little less strange.

During the day Kylo found himself aching for the feeling of Hux in his arms at night. What he would give to hold him whenever he wanted to, and not just because of the chill of the forest air. What he would give to touch his skin. What he would give to kiss him. He wasn't sure if he deserved to touch something so delicate, so perfect.

And when had he begun to think of Hux as perfect? He couldn't remember, and yet all he knew was how much he wanted to spend his days with Hux.

On the forty-fifth night, when Hux had tucked himself up against Kylo's chin and fallen straight asleep, Kylo was restless. He lay awake for what felt like hours, and for all he knew it could have been. His thoughts were racing, and he hoped his pounding heart didn't wake Hux.

Five days. That was all they had left. Just five days.

He wished he could tell Hux, to tell him about the curse and his feelings and his wants and what they truly were and his hopes for what they could be. But he knew it was much too late for that.

Five days left.

Five days left to spend with Hux and his perfect skin. Five days left to spend trying to memorize Hux's laughter so he could cling to it in his darker moments when he'd be alone in his cave as soon as he turned back into a bear. Five days left to experience human emotions that he'd never had before.

Five days left.

Kylo _couldn't_ tell Hux, he was sure of it. He was sure he'd ruin everything. He didn't even want to think about not being able to have Hux in his arms.

Kylo felt his eyes begin to water, and he hated the feeling of crying, he _hated_ the hot tears and the suffocating feeling and the pounding in his head. He blinked, trying to force them away. Kylo snuffled as quietly as he could as one tear escaped and rolled down his cheek, the salty trail turning cold against his skin.

He tried to calm his rapid breathing, quietly gulping in little gasps of air. He didn't want to wake Hux, didn't want him to worry, didn't want him to know. As if Hux could read his thoughts, his thin arms tightened just the slightest bit around Kylo.

As Hux pressed his nose into Kylo's collarbone, the panic ceased. Kylo let his arms tighten around Hux as well, holding him as close as he could without disturbing his sleep. He leaned down into Hux's hair, nuzzling slightly and breathing in his scent. He hoped he'd never forget it. He hoped he'd never forget Hux.

Five days left. He'd have to make them count. It was with the tiniest shard of hope that Kylo wondered if maybe Hux felt the same way. If maybe, just maybe, Kylo's attempts at compliments and gentleness could mean something to him.

He brushed his thumb over Hux's shoulder, wishing it was tracing over his freckles and not the worn seam of his shirt. But it didn't matter so much, not when Hux sighed so contently and snuggled a bit closer. Kylo felt his heart seize in his chest. Five days left. Five. He didn't want to sleep, didn't want to miss any of these little moments.

But in the comfort of Hux's arms, he found his tears drying, his eyes closing. The morning would come, and they'd be one day closer. Kylo didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he wanted anymore, except for Hux.

As he drifted off to sleep, he found himself wondering what it would be like to live out his life like this, with Hux, as humans. It didn't seem too bad anymore, no, it suddenly felt like an unattainable wish.

Kylo dreamt of Hux. He dreamt of touching his smooth skin, lightly tracing each freckle. He dreamt of his soft smile and what it would be like to kiss those pink lips. He dreamt of caressing every inch of Hux's body, keeping him safe and warm and _loved._ And Kylo had never known love before. And even as he dreamed, he knew that was something he deeply wished for.

 

 _Can I take it to a morning_  
_Where the fields are painted gold_  
 _And the trees are filled with memories_  
 _Of the feelings never told?_

 


	5. But I Swear I Thought I Dreamed Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Hozier's Work Song  
> please see additional tags for warnings (honestly this chapter is just like 90% soft kylux sex)

Day 48

Kylo was sure he had never wanted something more in his life. And it was a different sort of want than he had ever experienced before, a different sort of feeling than he knew. Rage, rage was a strong feeling he was used to, that he knew well. Pain, not as experienced, but still known. But this, this was much stronger, much deeper. It hurt in a way he didn't understand, this longing. And the more that time went on, the more anxious he felt about it. It was hard to keep from getting agitated, but it was all directed at himself for not knowing what to do or what to say to fix it.

He had two days left with Hux. And then that would be it. He didn't _want_ to only have two days left. He felt like he had wasted all his time being angry or upset or ignorant to the feelings he was having. And _now_ he was just at a complete loss. What had changed? What had completely altered his ways of thinking, his need to become a bear again, his want to go back to how things were? Now, that was the last thing that he wanted.

Every night with Hux ever since they had started sharing a bed had been the best night of his life, each one getting better and better. Somehow, it just felt that Hux snuggled the slightest big closer each evening, his touches lingered just a moment longer, his gazes just a little more heated.

Could it be possible that Hux had any of the same feelings that Kylo did? Even just a fraction of the wanting, because surely no one could bear the want that Kylo felt. In the mornings they would always find themselves tangled in each others' arms, legs entwined, skin warm against skin.

Kylo lived for it, these feelings. It became the best thing in his life, both in his new and old forms. He couldn't imagine ever going back. He couldn't imagine every losing this. And yet, he knew he only had two days left.

No matter what he did or didn't do, he feared he would regret it: either never having it, having it once and then it all taken away, or his ideas and needs being shattered if Hux didn't return his sentiments. But if there was anything that he had learned in this human life, it was that if he didn't try then he would never get anywhere.

So try he would.

The night of the 48th day, Kylo was having more new feelings. He felt anxious but in a fluttery way, not a deep dreadful pounding way. It was an odd sensation in his chest, like the feeling he would get when Hux looked at him, but more intense. He had been trying to figure out if there was something he could say, something he could do, to explain to Hux what he wanted, how deeply he wanted. But when it grew dark, he still was at a loss.

When Hux came into their now-shared room in only the long shirt he had first appeared in, it was like an unspoken agreement had been made between them. The lingering touches and gazes all day had lead up to this moment.

Hux approached him, cautiously like one would a wild animal, but his eyes held a nervous excitement that Kylo hadn't seen before. He wanted this too. There was no mistaking it anymore.

He stood just within reach of Kylo's arms, looking up at him. Kylo's hands slowly slid up Hux's pale arms and he couldn't keep the slight tremor out of his fingers. Never had he wanted anything more. Never had he been so hopeful or nervous.

Hux's skin was so soft beneath Kylo's rough fingers; he felt as if he shouldn't be permitted to touch anything so wonderful. And he had just begun. The side of Hux's mouth twitched up into a small smile and Kylo's eyes were drawn to the perfect pink. He wanted to kiss him. Oh how he wanted to kiss him.

As if Hux read his mind, he leaned forward the few remaining inches between them and captured Kylo's lips in the softest kiss Kylo could have ever imagined. His eyes fluttered shut and he sighed with want into the kiss, hands still trembling.

He kissed Hux again and again, as softly as he could. It was better than any dream, better than anything in this world. He was so afraid to break this moment. If he could, he would stay in this moment forever, forever endeavoring to kiss Hux as gently as he deserved.

For so long he had wanted him, so long he hadn't understood the feelings in his heart. Every day spent together he had been trying to figure out the emotions growing inside him only to find them out when they had hours left. He would take his time, draw this out as long as he could, make it as memorable and wonderful as possible. It was a memory he hoped he would be able to keep for the rest of his life.

He couldn't believe how lucky he was to be able to have this night with Hux; he was so afraid he would never have had the opportunity. Before, he would have rushed into things and messed everything up. But tonight, he would take his time. Tonight, he would learn every inch of Hux, every sound and touch and taste.

Kylo finally managed to bring himself away from Hux's lips, the soft pinkness following his own as he pulled away just enough to look at Hux's face. His freckles stood out against his flushed skin, his lips were darker than Kylo had seen before, his eyes opened slowly and were deeper, darker, intense.

He leaned back forward to press a kiss to the side of Hux's mouth, kissing his way across his cheek and back down the bridge of Hux's nose. He kissed with gentlest touch of lips across Hux's fluttering eyelids, taking in the little gasps of breath the man was letting out.

Kylo's path continued to nuzzle soft kisses behind Hux's ears, nose grazing his soft red-gold locks. Hot, open-mouthed kisses followed down Hux's jawline onto his neck. At the small wine Kylo felt vibrate against his own lips, he returned to Hux's mouth with tender and insistent kisses.

Suddenly Hux's arms wound themselves around his neck, draping over his shoulders as he tried to press closer to Kylo. Kylo forgot his gentleness for a moment as he pulled Hux to him, gripping him with a desperation only known to those who feel the end coming. And though Hux had no idea what was coming in two days, what would happen to them, he gripped Kylo back with the same intensity. Kylo could almost feel his heart break at it.

He slowed the kisses, deepening them as he licked his way into Hux's mouth, swallowing the soft moans greedily. He only separated their lips to pull Hux's loose shirt over his head. Hux's hands pushed uselessly at Kylo's pants, the only cloth between them now. Kylo's arms dropped to help him, warm hands covering Hux's cold ones.

They stood before each other, naked for the first time, taking each other in. Kylo couldn't help but stare at Hux's skin, so pale in the moonlight, nearly glowing with dustings of freckles across his shoulders and hips. He suddenly felt nervous again, a new shyness coming over him. Hux was so beautiful, so perfect, and he didn't know what he had done to deserve anything such as this.

Hux reached out slowly and took Kylo's hand in his own, lightly pulling him the two steps backwards towards their bed.

Kylo leaned down over him as they reclined on the old mattress, holding himself there hesitantly until Hux reached up with a shaking hand, running his fingers through Kylo's hair. Their lips met again more hungrily this time.

Kylo let his mouth and hands wander, the slightest press of a tongue over Hux's collarbones, a brush of callused hands up silky smooth arms, a small graze of teeth against the junction of neck and shoulder. He reveled in the taste of Hux's skin, letting his lips caress every inch he could reach. His fingers followed his mouth as he tried to catalog and map and memorize every last bit of the man he had come to love. He wanted to remember this forever. He would make this last if it was all he'd ever have.

His lips stayed gentle, his hands moving softly and slowly. Kylo kissed down Hux's neck once more, working his way across his shoulders, a tiny kiss for each freckle. Hux's skin was warming under his hands, the slightest sheen of sweat appearing on his pale skin adding to his moonlit glow. Kylo's lips moved down across his chest, letting them close gently around one of Hux's nipples. He flitted his tongue across it, drawing out a small whine from Hux.

Kylo's teeth added a slight pressure, and he delighted in the new sounds it brought out of Hux. But he would keep this gentle, keep this careful. He wanted to show Hux he could be soft too. Each new sound spurred him on, each gasp of breath and happy sigh he could never get enough of.

Hux's hands wove through his hair, fingertips massaging his scalp and tugging gently with a glorious pressure Kylo had never felt before. The sensations were overwhelming and incredible and he never wanted this to end. If Hux could touch his hair like that for the rest of his life, he would want nothing ever again.

Kylo nosed his way further down Hux's chest, his hands caressing Hux's arms and shoulders and sides, coming to rest on his bare hips. Hux let out another small whine as Kylo pressed a kiss into his hipbone, the sound timid and hopeful.

Kylo had never dreamed he'd have anything like this, in his time as a human he had only hoped in what he thought would be in vain. But he had wanted Hux, and for once, he had gotten something he wanted not just by strength or force or fear, but by an equal wanting in return. He thrilled in the fact that Hux wanted this just as much as he did, he was elated Hux felt the same. A small part of him wondered sadly if they could have had this earlier, had this for longer. But he let that thought slip away in the perfectness of the night.

There were so many wishes and wants he had had in his life, and now this one was real. There was no way either of them could have expected this weeks ago when they had met. They had both changed so much in their days together, things could have ended up so differently. And Kylo was so happy that the circumstances, as strange and complicated and mysterious as they may be, had brought them together to have this moment.

His thumbs rubbed circles into Hux's hipbones as he kissed back up Hux's chest, needing to capture his lips with his own once more. Kylo had never felt this happiness before, this beautiful and undeserved joy. He would be forever grateful for the universe or the fairy or fate or for anything that had allowed this to happen just in the way that both of them needed.

He memorized every detail he could, every sound that escaped Hux's lips, the way his breathing changed at Kylo's touch, the taste of his skin. He hoped he could always remember it as vividly as he was experiencing it.

Kylo kissed Hux's flushed skin, warm now beneath his plush lips, carefully up his neck and finally, finally reaching his perfectly soft lips. His thumbs continued their tracing across Hux's hips, just brushing into the edges of the red hair.

Hux's eyes fluttered shut the instant Kylo's timid fingers brushed the edge of his cock, and in that moment Kylo knew that he was and would forever be intoxicated by Hux. The tips of his fingers traced up Hux's length and back down, his heart was beating so hard he was sure Hux would hear it even over his small gasps for breath.

He pressed another kiss onto Hux's forehead, smoothing the lines that had formed there. He leaned back just enough for his eyes to take in more of Hux. He was so beautiful laying there, his expression of happy want on his face because of Kylo, and that made Kylo even happier. His eyes traced over Hux's form, silky pale skin and sharp edges, a contrast of hard and soft all at once. Light freckles and bright hair, pink lips and darkened green eyes beneath golden eyelashes. He was the most beautiful creature Kylo had ever seen, more radiant than the sunsets and softer than newly fallen snow.

Kylo gained enough confidence in Hux's ecstasy to curl his fingers around his cock instead of just his tracing fingertips. Hux moaned again, eyes staying shut as his breathing quickened. Kylo leaned back down to kiss him, letting his own hips press slowly against Hux's thigh.

One of Hux's hands tightened in his hair as the other grabbed at Kylo's shoulders, trying to pull him closer. He rolled his hips into Kylo's grasp, angling towards Kylo's own hips.

It was hard for Kylo to stop his exploration of Hux's perfect and irresistible skin, the tips of his unoccupied fingers sliding up from the back of Hux's knee. But he couldn't hold himself back much longer, couldn't keep Hux waiting. Hux's whines were getting more insistent, his hands clutching at every bit of Kylo that he could reach.

He left a trail of sloppy kisses down Hux's chest, mind growing fuzzy with want, until he reached where Hux wanted him most. Kylo nuzzled the coarse ginger hairs around the base of Hux's cock, reveling in Hux's shaky breath and small whimper. He breathed him in, a scent he would always remember as Hux, before kissing his way slowly up the underside of Hux's cock.

Despite his need taking over his mind, Kylo was still able to hold onto the thought to keep this slow and long and drawn out, to bring Hux as much pleasure as he could, to memorize every detail of every moment. The slow, hot passes of his lips and tongue up and back down brought out the most exquisite moans. The tiny licks across the head twisted Hux's face in ecstasy. Every expression was irresistible, every sound was intoxicating.

Hux was so responsive to every touch of his hands, his lips, and Kylo could feel every instance of it adding to his own arousal. Hux's hands gripped at Kylo's hair again, burying themselves and twisting the thick dark strands, pulling with just the right amount of force. Kylo let out a moan of his own at the feeling, the vibrations causing Hux to cry out with a little broken sound.

If he was allowed, if the curse and the time permitted, Kylo would do this for days. He wanted to do this for days, for as long as Hux would let him, to spend hours lavishing attention to every part of his body, bringing out sounds and sweet pleasures and moaning breaths. Everything about Hux gave Kylo so many new feelings that he wanted to learn and memorize and explore, forever and always as long as he was able.

When he wrapped his lips around Hux's cock and slowly took him fully into his mouth, Hux's back arched up off the bed as a soft keen escaped him. Another reaction to memorize, another moment he wished he could repeat as long as he lived.

He set a slow pace, overwhelmed with everything in this moment, watching Hux's chest rise and fall with each breath, watching his sweet lips part with every gasp, the way his teeth bit at his bottom lip when things felt just right. Every moment found Kylo more and more intoxicated, more and more attached to Hux.

Kylo let his large hands slide up Hux's thighs, trembling beneath his touch. He rubbed soothing circles into Hux's hips as he sped up the movements of his mouth. When Hux's fingers pulled just a little harder in his hair, Kylo knew it was too much for him. He released his cock, and Hux whimpered at the loss of his slick, warm mouth. But he pulled Kylo up to him by his hair, kissing him as thoroughly as he could.

Their eyes met as Kylo pressed their hips together, Hux's pupils were blown wide and his gaze was heated. Kylo would give anything to have Hux look at him like that forever. Though the lust was overwhelming and he was shaking, Kylo managed to slow himself down enough to kiss the edge of Hux's nose, nuzzling against it as he slowly rocked their hips together.

Hux was getting impatient, Kylo could tell, gripping him more tightly and whining softly into his kisses. He parted his legs beneath Kylo, letting him settle between them for a better angle. Kylo gasped at the sensation, and heard Hux's echo against his cheek.

He increased his thrusts slowly, still wanting to draw out this moment if it was all they would have. Hux's hands flew back up to Kylo's shoulders, fingers stuttering across his smooth skin, gripping and digging into his muscles as he tried to hold on while Kylo pressed their hips more tightly together. Kylo ground down against the cradle of Hux's hips, their cocks sliding together with perfect friction. Each movement was an agonizingly satisfying touch, each thrust felt better than the last. Feelings of need and want coursed through Kylo's veins. He had never wanted anything more in his life, he was sure, than to have this moment and to have this moment for as long as he could.

Kylo finally gave in when Hux was a whining mess. He had been begging without words ever since he had gotten Kylo's mouth on him, but he was nearly incoherent now. Kylo held himself up with one arm, his other hand reaching between them to take both of their cocks in hand together. Hux cried out again at the sensation, and again as Kylo began to thrust into his grip.

Kylo had never felt anything like this, and the pleasure was overwhelming. He felt moans escaping his own lips without being able to hold them back. Hux began to rock his hips into Kylo's grip as well, the slide of his cock against Kylo's own becoming almost more than Kylo could bear.

His movements became faster, more frantic, as he began to lose himself. Hux's hips bucked up harder into his own and he knew Hux was just as far gone as he was. Kylo's hand moved just a little faster, just a little harder.

Hux's hips lost their rhythm as he came, hot across Kylo's quickly moving hand, his whole body shuddering against Kylo's as he cried out. Feeling Hux pulse against him sent Kylo over the edge, moaning his release into Hux's neck. He managed to keep himself held up for just a moment longer before collapsing against Hux.

Still shaking, Kylo tried to catch his breath as he rolled to the side. His emotions flooded back into his mind, frantically sweeping through his thoughts. Kylo pulled Hux's trembling form closer as they both tried to catch their breath. He needed Hux near him. Forever.

Kylo leaned up onto his side, one hand cupping Hux's face gently. Hux smiled up at him as his breathing evened out, such a beautifully contented smile that Kylo was certain he'd never seen anything so wonderful before. He smiled back bashfully, leaning down to press a light kiss to Hux's swollen lips.

He peppered little kisses across Hux's face, drawing out a small giggle that he would cherish forever. He took one of Hux's hands in his own, kissing each finger and each knuckle with chaste pecks, slower kisses over his palm, tiny licks across his wrist.

Kylo knew that he would never have his fill of Hux. He would never want to be apart. Especially with the way Hux was looking adoringly up at him, his now-released hand petting gently through Kylo's damp hair.

As Hux's blinks became slower and Kylo could feel himself drifting towards sleep as well, he pulled Hux against his chest, curling around him. He pressed one last kiss against his forehead as Hux snuggled closer to sleep tucked under his chin. Kylo's heart thumped painfully in his chest. How in the world could this have happened. How in the world could he keep this.

This was all he had ever wanted without even knowing it. To be loved. And to love in return. It had changed him, fixed him. And now, all too soon, it would be taken away. He had learned and grown and fulfilled the fairy's curse.

When this had all begun he was sure it would be impossible, that he would be cursed to live as a human forever. And yet, now that he had made it to the end, he wished that he had never succeeded. But he knew that if he hadn't succeeded, he wouldn't have wanted this at all. It was a curse either way, he knew that now.

He could practically feel Hux's contentment, warm against his skin, and he sighed as he tucked him more securely into his arms. If only he had learned sooner, then they would have more time. He almost wished he had never had this at all so that he wouldn't have to long for it forever, but it was better to have had once to remember by than to have never had at all, no matter how painful it may be.

He had less than forty-eight hours left with Hux. He didn't know what to do. He wondered if pleading with the fairy would make any difference, but deep in his heart he felt that it would not. While Hux slept peacefully in his arms, Kylo found no sleep of his own, his mind fitfully racing through the night as silent tears slowly streaked down his face. For once, he was sure of what he wanted and that it was wanted in return. For once, he knew that he could not have it. For once, he felt totally helpless.

\---

 _My babe would never fret none_  
_About what my hands and my body done_  
 _If the lord don't forgive me_  
 _I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me_

 


	6. Can't You See I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo attempts to find a way to trick the fairy when she returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from The Brothers Bright - Blood On My name

**Day 49**

Kylo slowly awoke to the feeling of Hux's teeth nibbling at his neck. It tickled at first, but it was nice, so he didn't move. Feigning sleep, he let Hux continue, curious and sleepily exhilarated, wanting to see how far this would go.

Hux's teeth were sharp against his skin, a soothing scraping before sinking in. His lips were warm, mixing soft caresses with little nips and licks of his hot tongue. He suckled against Kylo's neck with just the right combination of pleasure and pain.

Kylo was finding it harder and harder to hold back his reactions, trying so hard to keep from moaning or twitching or wrapping Hux completely in his arms and ravishing him with just as much attention.

“I know you're awake,” Hux mumbled against his skin before letting his teeth nip particularly hard against the junction of Kylo's neck and shoulder, sucking intently on the point.

Kylo let his eyes open and focus on Hux, looking so devilishly soft in the morning light, smirking in triumph. It was a look that Kylo would rather die than forget. He let his arms wind around Hux, pulling him close to press kisses across his face.

Hux seemed to sense that Kylo was in need of more softness, relaxing into his arms as his nibbles turned lighter. Kylo's hands slowly petted over Hux; he had memorized every inch of his skin last night, but it was just as he feared: he'd never have enough, never know enough. He wanted Hux in the morning light, in the moonlight, in the bright afternoon, in the rainy evenings. He wanted him in every season and every way.

He knew the fairy was coming tomorrow, but he was at a loss. He wished he knew what he could do, something, anything to at least delay the inevitable. He never wanted this to end. He would give anything for just a little more time with Hux, but he knew a little time would never be enough. The fairy didn't seem like the bargaining type anyway.

And Hux didn't know, he never knew. He had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow. Part of Kylo wished he had told him, he had so many opportunities to. But it could have ruined everything between them. It could have ended this before it even began. And he couldn't bear the thought of that.

Kylo wished he could share his emotions with Hux about this, his desperate fears and needs. But perhaps it was best if Hux didn't know, he'd be spared the pain and the loss and the anxiety that was plaguing Kylo. He would face this alone if it would keep Hux happy in his ignorance.

He wasn't sure how much longer he could pretend though. Pretending and hiding how much it was hurting him that he was about to lose Hux, the best thing in his life. But he would try.

With a sigh, he opened the door to the tiny bathroom, wanting to wash his face from the few tears that had slipped out. When he caught sight of himself in the smoky mirror, he could feel his heart thump in his chest.

An idea formed in his head.

A deep purple-red bruise had appeared where Hux had bitten him.

He could never actually hurt Hux, but could that be enough to form the illusion? Hux's skin was so soft and pale, surely it would hold marks better than Kylo's. Could he cover him in bruises of passion and pass it off as harm, could he trick the fairy?

He was being selfish, he knew it. But he had to try. A life with Hux was worth it.

\- - -

The first nip was hesitant, a question. Nerves on Kylo's end. But Hux's deep, pleased sound of want that the nip drew from him, well, that was all the encouragement that Kylo needed.

He sucked bruises down Hux's neck, across his collarbones and chest. He took his time, perfecting the amount of pressure and attention each spot needed before it would form a color.

The new sounds he was drawing out of Hux were intoxicating, more things he would try to add to his memory, more things he would long for when they were gone.

Hux tried to reciprocate, tried to pull Kylo back up to his mouth to kiss him. But he was in the way, stopping the progress that Kylo needed.

“Please,” Kylo breathed against his flushed, damp skin before sinking his teeth in once more. “Please, let me.” His pleads were like a prayer, soft and quick and desperate.

“By all means,” Hux sighed happily, letting Kylo position him exactly as he wanted.

Each gasp, each moan, spurred Kylo on even more. Eventually Kylo couldn't focus on the bruises anymore, Hux distracting him far too much by being far too perfect. He softened his mouth and kissed his way down to between Hux's legs.

When Hux came, it was a beautiful sight. Much more intense than the night before, but just as wonderful. He fell back onto the pillows, pale form covered in various bruises, sated and grinning at Kylo.

Kylo realized his face must have been doing something stupid, going through a range of awe to triumph to so-beautiful-he-could-cry to nervous to staring with his mouth hanging loose. Hux smirked at him as though he had been the one to thoroughly ravish Kylo instead of the other way around. Though, Kylo supposed, it was true. Hux had, without even laying a hand on him.

He let himself be pulled into Hux's arms, too lost in his warring emotions to protest that he wanted to hold Hux instead. His small arms were comfortable, wrapped tightly around him. Hux's fingers lazily traced over his chest as if they had all the time in the world. And Kylo wished it were so. He tried to hold back his tears and enjoy what could very well be his last night with Hux. But he desperately wished that he could fool the fairy.

\- - -

**Day 50**

\- - -

Kylo felt more nervous than he had ever been in his life. He was so full of anxiety that his hands were trembling, his words were stuttered, he couldn't keep his focus on anything for long. It was so much so, that Hux was becoming concerned.

But nothing Hux did could calm Kylo, and Kylo hated himself for it. He hated that Hux didn't know what was happening, hated that he couldn't explain it, hated that they had mere hours left and all he could do was panic, hated that this situation existed for them at all.

When the glow that Kylo knew to be the fairy began to filter through the windows, taking over the room in a bright blue-silver light, his heart was beating so fast he was sure that it would escape from his chest. He could barely breathe, barely think. But he had enough sense to let go of Hux. He had to pretend. He had to make this work.

“Kylo Ren,” the fairy said as she took form, hovering in front of them. “Have you learned?”

“I-” Kylo gulped for air, words no more than a whisper. He glanced at Hux next to him, who was staring in awe. He didn't look afraid, because he didn't know, but Hux's lack of fear helped Kylo speak.

“I hurt him,” he said in a weak voice, cracking and dry. “Look. I hurt him. I accept your punishment of the curse.”

His shaking hand reached out for Hux, pulling the collar of his shirt down to his shoulder to show some of the barrage of bruises that bloomed across his neck. He nudged Hux forward, trying not to flinch when Hux stumbled at the unexpected movement.

“What?” Hux said, looking back at him in confusion.

“I. Hurt. Him,” Kylo managed through gritted teeth. “Punish me.”

“No!” Hux gasped. “No, you didn't hurt me! I wanted this, I...what's going on? Kylo?”

Hux's tone was weak. Hurt. Confused. And it was in that moment that Kylo knew that he had lost him forever. There was no way he could have tricked the fairy. No matter what happened the past fifty days, he would have been cursed either way. Either stay the same and hurt others and be forced to stay human as he didn't want, or learn to care and be human and love and then have it taken away.

He couldn't stop the tears from running down his cheeks, he tried to stifle the sobs wracking his chest. “Please,” he sniffled, looking at the fairy pitifully.

Her head tilted. “You have learned control. And care. I have been watching, Kylo Ren, just as I warned. You cannot fool me. You have learned, and so you shall return.”

“No!”

His skin suddenly felt prickly all over as he felt fur rapidly sprouting all over him. His jaw ached as he felt his face begin to change shape. He turned to look at Hux, wanting comfort, wanting to make sure he was alright, wanting to protect him.

He saw the fear in Hux's eyes, fear of _him_ , before they lost their light and Hux collapsed to the ground.

Kylo tried to call for him, tried to scream, but all that came out was an anguished roar as he fell onto four paws, claws scratching into the old wooden floor.

\- - -

 

_But oh, my heart was flawed_

_I knew my weakness_

_So hold my hand,_

_Consign me not to darkness_

 

(Mumford and Sons - Broken Crown)


	7. Trying To Save What's Left Before Everything Is Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is a bear. Hux is a piece of driftwood. It's like how they first started. Only now, Kylo wants to fix this. But on his journey back to the lake, an unexpected thing happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title and end quote from Rag'N'Bone Man's Bitter End  
> additional tags have been added for this chapter

Kylo looked down at his massive paws, shock setting in as the fairy disappeared. He let out another anguished roar. Anguished and frustrated and anxious and so many other emotions all coursing through him all at once. He had never felt such loss, never felt such sadness.

It hurt to look at the driftwood stick that had been Hux, it hurt deep in his chest. He sniffed at the stick in vain, desperately wishing for one more breath of Hux's scent, just one more comforting breath.

He reached out with his paw, then stopped himself, suddenly afraid. What if he broke Hux? He was so fragile looking. And was it bad to think of the stick as Hux? The curse had been lifted, Hux was gone. But Kylo couldn't bring himself to leave him behind when he left the cabin.

He gently picked the stick up in his strong jaws, more careful than he had ever been in his life, and he wandered away from the cabin. He felt aimless, he didn't know where to go. Nothing felt right and everything felt wrong.

He wandered, with no place to go. All of his thoughts were on Hux, and how much he missed him, and how much he wished he could have him back. The deep feelings of sadness and loss were near overwhelming as he clumsily walked through the woods.

Why did he still have human feelings? Why did he still have to feel this way? This must be his real curse, whether inflicted upon him by the fairy or not. He would be a bear again, but have all of the new human emotions he had discovered. Except instead of the good ones he had learned, just a deep longing for the ones he had lost.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't feel like a bear, but he knew he wasn't a human. None of the things he had done as a bear seemed even remotely appealing.

Kylo sighed deeply, coming to a stop next to a familiar boulder. He sad down heavily and lowered his mouth to set Hux down on the ground next to him. With one giant paw, he adjusted the stick so that it was leaning up next to him in a pitiful remembrance of what had been.

He would do anything to get Hux back.

...and maybe he could. The thought hit him suddenly. He had some how found the fairy in the lake, what if he went back? Perhaps she would reappear to him. Then he could beg for some more time with Hux. He would give her anything she wanted.

With a tiny new-found burst of energy, he gingerly picked up the Hux-stick once more and continued his trek into the woods. This time, though, he had a goal and a location. His steps dragged a little less than before. He was still depressed, but there was a small bit of hope growing in his chest.

He walked for what felt like hours, being exceedingly careful with the piece of driftwood in his mouth. He had been lost in his thoughts for a moment and had run the stick into another tree a few moments ago, and had dropped him in his panic not to break him. The stick was fine, and Kylo hoped that Hux didn't bruise from that. He had to be more careful.

Suddenly he heard a rush of small footsteps, the far-off screeching of panicked birds, hooves and antlers snapping through branches. Something was coming. A stag darted past him, paying him no mind. Kylo hadn't lunged at it as he would have used to, though. Instead, he almost cowered away, clutching at the driftwood that had been Hux.

When a flurry of squirrels hurried by and didn't even look afraid of him, he knew something was wrong. They looked frightened, but not of him.

And that was when he smelled the smoke rising through the forest.

He turned to run with the other animals, fear taking over him as he began to hear flames roaring and crackling behind him, trees snapping and falling. As fast as he had been as a bear, he hadn't run in so long, and he was lagging behind.

The animals kept rushing past him, but he told himself as long as he kept moving, he'd be ok. As long as he kept moving, he could save Hux. Who was...

Hux, who was wood.

Hux, who would burn.

A pained growl left him in his terror as he pressed forward, legs screaming. The trek to the lake was hard enough on its own, but now he had to run in fear for their lives.

It was difficult to run with Hux clutched carefully in his mouth, he was so fragile. He had to dodge trees more heavily, watch more carefully where he was going, so as not to break any bits off of Hux. He had to be aware of his heavy footfalls and make sure he didn't get jolted enough that his powerful jaws would snap Hux in half.

He continued forward with the mass of frightened animals, most of them were passing him at a more frantic run, but he hurried forward all the same. Twigs and sticks were snapping beneath all of their feet, trampling the leaves and mossy ground. Each snap made Kylo wince, making him think of what could happen to Hux.

A shrill scream broke through his frightened concentration. A squirrel, trapped with its tail snagged under a newly fallen branch. Kylo stumbled in his running, turning towards it, and tried not to flinch at its terrified scrambling away from him as he cut across the stampede to get to it. He nudged the stick off with his nose, carefully, and as soon as the squirrel darted away he continued his heavy run.

There was one more hill he had to climb over to reach the lake; he knew this area well. But the other animals had run, herding him along in their frenzy, further south of the hill than he had ever been before. From this angle, it looked more like a mountain. Or, that could be his panic and worn-out lungs and strained legs talking.

But it was one more hill away, a steep and complicated hill yes, but just one more. The lake would fix this. The lake would fix everything. The fire couldn't cross it and he could find the fairy once more and she could fix Hux.

Provided that she even could turn him back.

Provided that Kylo could get the fairy to return.

...provided that he got Hux there without breaking him or getting him caught on fire.

...provided that he could even make it to the lake.

Kylo wheezed as he lumbered forward, all of his muscles burning like the fire that was closing in on him. The smoke was making the air hazy, his lungs screamed in protest from the particles in the air and the excessive running. He stopped for a moment, trying to catch his breath in the smoky air as his feet wouldn't move another step forward.

He looked around, noticing suddenly that he was alone.

Everything ached. He had scrapes from branches and falling debris. His feet were rough and scratched from rocks and uneven ground. 50 days without his calluses had not been helpful. His lungs burned with every breath, his muscles protested every twitch of movement.

He had been too slow.

He tried to struggle forward, he couldn't fall behind any further. But every moment was sluggish, every breath and movement caused him pain. His toes and claws were catching on even the smallest rocks on the ground. He could barely hold himself up.

He managed to drop the stick the moment before he hit the ground, turning his huge body not to crush the fragile wood.

\- - - - - - -

 

_Too many years of battle scars and now we're broken_

_And all the words you said been hanging over my head for time_

_And all of the lines we've crossed, they've finally burst us open_

_As a thousand tiny paper cuts of life_

_Sweet love, my oldest friend, have we come to the bitter end?_

_No make up, no pretend, have we come to the bitter end?_

_..._

_The higher we rise, the further we fall when we crash down_

_Through all of these years, I can't accept it's over now_

_I won't let go_

_Sweet love, my oldest friend,_

_have we come to the bitter end?_

 

 

 


	8. My Dearest Love, I'm Not Done Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!! I now present to you the final chapter!
> 
> Title from Hozier's In The Woods Somewhere

When Kylo came to, he was afraid something had happened to his hearing because it was eerily quiet. He blinked groggily, struggling to his feet with a groan. The woods were silent. Bits of ash were still floating around through the air, a mockery of the gentle life that they had once been. The mountain had burned most of the way up, but the areas immediately around Kylo had been spared. He must have crossed over enough rocks.

A sniff told him that the fire had burnt out, but it had taken a lot of his forest with it. Way off in the distance, he could hear the birds twittering at each other. It made him feel as if things would be alright. Regrowth would happen.

He stretched his aching limbs, blinked his stinging eyes, coughed the dust out of his throat. He was tired. So tired. Was it close to time for hibernation? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember much at all.

With a roll of his shoulders, Kylo made to lumber down the mountain. But something caught his eye.

There was a piece of driftwood next to him. It was a little bent and had some ash on it, but it looked unburnt and unbroken. It was really odd for a piece of driftwood to be on top of a mountain. He frowned at it, but with a shrug he-

Frowned? Shrugged? Bears couldn't frown or shrug, how did he even know what those movements were? Why did he care? How did he even have all of these thoughts?

He was starting to get nervous, starting to panic, emotions he couldn't remember rushing through him as he stumbled back. He had the distinct feeling that he was forgetting something, something that was much too important to be forgotten. He looked around frantically, as if the answers could be found in the woods somewhere around him.

And then his eyes fell back on the piece of driftwood.

And things felt a little calmer.

Kylo nudged the stick with his paw, hoping that something would happen. He was about to get frustrated and leave, and something small in him screamed at him not to break the stick in anger. And something else told him not to leave the stick behind.

With a little grumble, he picked up the pale stick of driftwood carefully in his mouth.

And everything came rushing back to him.

He almost dropped Hux with the sheer impact of emotions and memories hitting him. He was so thankful he stopped himself from breaking the stick. And his few minutes fully as a bear, in body and in mind, confirmed his needs now more than ever: he needed to find the fairy and he needed to get Hux back.

He took a breath, squared his giant shoulders, and resumed his journey towards the lake. He just had to go down the mountain and he'd be there.

As he passed into the burnt sections, the ash felt weird beneath his paws. He couldn't always see the roots and rocks, didn't know which branches would snap beneath his weight, and so he had to walk carefully.

Finally, he was at the lake. A few deer were further downstream, resting and drinking the cool water. They paid him no mind.

Kylo set the stick down on the water's edge, where Hux had been found, and sat heavily next to it. He wasn't sure what to do.

With a paw, he nudged the stick-Hux a little closer to the lake so that it was touching the water, as if the lake itself would transform him back.

Wasn't the fairy always supposed to be watching? Wouldn't she have seen him here by now?

He sighed. Maybe this wouldn't work. Maybe it was stupid to hope. Maybe he deserved to be a bear forever and to dwell on the memories of his no-longer attainable happiness.

But Hux didn't. Hux didn't deserve this. Kylo sighed again, a whine coming out of his throat. He knew that if he'd been human, he'd be crying.

“Kylo Ren.”

He spun around and saw the fairy coming out of the woods, blue light shining all around her as green plants sprung from her every footstep. The forest would regrow.

Suddenly Kylo felt selfish for his impatience.

He sighed out another little whine, looking up at the fairy with pleading eyes, wishing she could turn him back so he could beg for Hux to be spared the curse.

She tilted her head as she watched him, and Kylo felt as if she could see into his mind. He turned back to the Hux-stick, picking it up gently out of the water and leaning forward towards the fairy to try to show what he was asking. He nudged it in her direction, looking back up sadly.

The fairy carefully stepped over Hux and placed her hands on either side of Kylo's head. A prickly sensation filled him, running through his skin like when he transformed, but also in his brain, in his eyes, in every part of him. With a gasp, he felt his snout returning to a human nose, his claws receding into human fingers, the sharp teeth dulling in his mouth, the chill of the air on his bare skin.

Flashes of memories from the forest fire, carrying Hux as carefully as he could, his anguish, the squirrel he saved, his time with Hux, arguing, getting along, saving him from the bear, countless memories flipped rapidly through his mind, and he knew the fairy was able to see them all. He didn't even have time to feel embarrassed about their more intimate moments before she removed herself from his brain, her hands pushing through his hair gently.

“Please,” Kylo mumbled, voice raspy from disuse and the smoke.

“You've learned more than care and control,” she said quietly as she took a step back, her hands falling away from him. “This is new. You've learned to be selfless, and gentle. Not only to him, but to others.”

Kylo felt his cheeks warming as he dropped his gaze. He didn't know what to say.

“Trust and love are difficult emotions to learn. But you've achieved that in this short time. This is more than I had expected, from you or from anyone.”

“Please,” Kylo said again, no other words good enough to convey his want, his _need._

She placed a hand on Hux's stick. “He may not remember.”

Kylo looked up at her, eyes filling with worry. “But you can- I mean, would he be ok?”

“Transformations are different on non-sentient objects. I couldn't say for sure unless I try. Things might not be the same. He may not remember you at all, or only remember certain things,” the fairy said sadly. “Is that what you truly want?”

Kylo shook his head. “He deserves to live. To have a life. Whether or not it's with me, he deserves everything,” Kylo said, coming to the realization himself as the words were spoken. He would do anything for Hux, even if it meant he couldn't be with him.

The fairy nodded, tracing her hands over the Hux-stick.

She held the stick up with both hands outstretched, then with a quick movement she snapped it in half. In that split-second moment, Kylo thought his heart had broken too. Until a pale green light began pouring from each side of the stick, taking a human form in front of her.

Hux stood facing the fairy, and Kylo's heart stopped as he fell to his knees behind him. Hux took a step back, startled at the glowing fairy in front of him, then spun around at the sound of Kylo's knees hitting the rocky ground.

He gasped, pale freckly hands flying up to his mouth. He remembered, Kylo was sure of it. He _remembered._

“Kylo?”

“ _Hux_ ,” Kylo breathed, a shaky laugh escaping through the tears running down his face.

“What happened? I...I had a dream, it was awful, you were a bear, and then everything froze, and then I was...I was on fire but I couldn't move? I don't...why are we here?”

Kylo shook his head, he couldn't believe he had Hux back. “It was real, Hux. All of it. Everything you said.”

Hux frowned at him, looking almost afraid. “You can't be a bear, that's ridiculous, you're not-”

“Not anymore,” Kylo agreed.

Hux reached out a hand, hesitating just for a second, before placing it on Kylo's cheek. Kylo put both of his hands on top, not caring about the tears falling onto them. Hux moved only to throw both of his arms around Kylo's neck, dropping to his knees too as he fell on Kylo in a fierce hug.

After a few long emotional moments, Kylo realized the fairy was watching them still, a small smile on her face.

“Things will have to be different this time,” she said. “The way my magic works, you'll both have to become caretakers of the forest now.”

Kylo nodded as he listened, not letting go of Hux's hand.

“It'll be very much the same as your days spent as humans, but you must stick to the woods. Care for the animals and plants, keep the peace between them. You have learned this great care and trust and love, use it well.” She placed a hand on each of their shoulders; it was warm and Kylo could feel her power seeping into him.

“Some small magic to help you,” she answered his unspoken question. “Nothing like my abilities, just basic healing and growth. Try it,” the fairy gestured at the ground in front of them.

Kylo looked at Hux, and then together they laid their hands upon the dirt. A few tiny sprigs of green popped up between their fingers.

Her smile was wise as she nodded at their shocked expressions. “I've seen your minds. I know you won't disappoint me. If you should ever need to find me, simply come to the lake.”

She patted their shoulders again as she passed them, fading into her glowing pale blue light as she walked across the lake.

Kylo helped Hux to his feet, still completely elated at having him back, having him remember and know and being able to keep him. Elation was another new feeling that he'd found, and now he knew he'd experience it often with Hux by his side.

He held Hux's hand as they walked into the woods, following the newly made green path that the fairy had walked out of. It was so different than their first trek through the woods, where Kylo had tried to leave Hux behind. They walked together, helping each other through low-hanging branches and over logs. It was a leisurely walk, stopping occasionally to lay hands upon a burnt tree to give it the ability to heal, or for a few stolen kisses that were even sweeter than Kylo had remembered.

Never in all his days would Kylo have believed that he would have found something so wonderful in his life. He was given love, and he was given back something he thought he couldn't replace. Now that he had found Hux again, he'd never let anything happen to him.

They reached their cabin, looking better than it ever had. The wood looked fresh and sturdy, the stones clean, a flowered wreath hung on the door.

Hux looked up at him with a shy smile, pulling him towards the door.

And Kylo followed with a smile of his own.

\- - -

_How many years_

_I know I'll bear_

_I found something_

_In the woods somewhere_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :)  
> I had a lot of fun writing this, a lot of fun and a lot of emotions. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](katherine1753.tumblr.com)


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